Investment Pitching Advice: You Can’t Kiss A Frog by Phone

Posted on 25. Jul, 2010 by Natalie in Entrepreneurs, Featured, Investor Pitching

This is a Guest Post I asked Tereza Nemessanyi, CEO of Honestly Now, if I could steal and republish from her blog Mashups. Markets and Motherhood. Enjoy.

I’ve been doing a teeny amount of investor pitching on the business I’m building. It’s my first time. When people realize this, they offer advice. More often than not, it’s using a dating metaphor.

Married for almost ten years, I am woefully out of practice kissing frogs. So I wanted to study up.

Then I remembered that in the dark ages, circa 1997, my Wharton girlfriends and I had fun keeping each other honest as we collectively followed the popular “The Rules For Girls”.

Do “The Rules” apply to angel funding? Let’s see.

1. Be a creature unlike any other.

It’s an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It’s the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don’t babble on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight) and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back). When a relationship doesn’t work out, you brush away a tear so that it doesn’t smudge your makeup and you move on!
Hmmm…interesting. That might help. Maybe a differentiated product and business does, too.

2. Show up to parties, dances & social events even if you do not feel like it.

Realize that you may not meet Mr. Right naturally and that you therefore must take social action immediately even if you don’t want to. Get a manicure and go out on another date or to that singles dance — do something to increase your chances of meeting men.
Can you spell “n-e-t-w-o-r-k-i-n-g”?

3. It is a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out.

Don’t waste time on a fantasy relationship. You may have a good rapport with your doctor, lawyer or accountant, and you may find yourself wondering if he is interested in you romantically. How can you know for sure? If he’s never asked you out, then He’s Just Not That Into You!
And it’s a fantasy pitch, unless it’s in person….as I learned last week, and even triggered some AVC.com dialog about it. And if he hasn’t sent you a term sheet, he’s just not that into you!

4. In an office relationship, do not email him back every time he emails you unless it is business-related.

On all non-business e-mails, responding once for every four of his e-mails is a good rule of thumb. Remember, you never know who has access to your e-mail, so keep all romance off the screen and save it for Saturday nights.
Desperation = bad.

5. If you are in a long-distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him.

Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates… and on the first three dates we don’t have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.
They never sign NDAs. If you’re not launched yet, don’t show your privates until or unless you trust them or you feel secure that sufficient pressure exists not to divulge your secrets to others.

6. When considering whether to use personal ads or other online services, you should place the ad and let men respond to you.

It goes back to the basic premise of The Rules: Man pursues woman. When writing your ad, remember that every man has a type, a voice or a look he likes. There has to be a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special.
OK, I’m not sure about this one. Does anyone know anyone who’s actually gotten funded over AngelSoft? If so, please share!

7. If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period.

We know this is hard to accept, but it’s not that he hasn’t called because he’s busy, or because you didn’t smile or talk enough (or did too much). It’s not that he lost your phone number. The bottom line is, if he hasn’t called, he’s not that interested.
Yeppers this sounds about right. I’d add, why not just ask at the close of a meeting: Are you interested?

8. Close the deal. Rules women do not date men for more than two years.

If you’ve followed The Rules, your man probably loves you and wants to marry you. Your problem is not if he marries you, but when! If it’s been more than a year, see less of him and think about dating others. You’ve already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose; do you have another year to wait?
They should make a decision to continue, discontinue or defer very quickly. If you don’t hear, it’s a no. If it is, go off and be successful without them. If you are, they may be back later….and then you can decide who you want.

9. Buyer beware. Observe his behavior so you do not wind up with Mr. Wrong.

Love may be blind, but Rules girls are not stupid! How does he act in the relationship? Is he cheap on dates? Is he critical of you? Remember, The Rules are not about marrying the first man you are attracted to who calls you by Wednesday for Saturday night and buys you flowers. It’s about marrying your own personal Mr. Right — a man whom you love and whose character you admire and can live with.
Be really careful that this investor can bring something important to your business, besides cash. And if s/he’s a jerk, get out early. The signs are there.

10. Keep doing the RULES even when things are slow.

Take care of yourself, take a bubble bath and build up your soul with positive slogans like “I am a beautiful woman. I am enough.” You must learn to accept that, as an adult, you can’t always rely on a friend to do things with you. Even if you don’t meet Mr. Right, going out — whether it’s a restaurant, lecture or party — is a chance to meet new people and practice The Rules.
Build a successful business, no matter what. That’s the most important thing, in the end.

Wow, lots to remember here. I guess my final question is…..who’s the guy, and who’s the girl?

Related posts:

• Winning in a Man’s World, Advice for Women Who Want to Succeed